Thursday 10.00 am  :small  police van arrives out of which steps a seriously intimidating blonde  ,clad in black , from the 'scientific department '

"Is this the vehicle ?"

 "Yep" Tried hard to break the ice with an offer of a coffee, but judging by the look it would obviously seriously interfere  with scientific procedure. So with the words 'cover me i'm going in ', ringing in my ears ,  i  scuttled back inside.

After 20 minutes she seemed genuinely disappointed that she couln't  'lift any prints or D.N.A ,(!!!!!), from fabric fibres '  -  this girl is good -  from the scene.

"There's nothing for me here, Fairy Liquid and hot water will get the dust off. "  And she was gone..........

As for us ? Well locks £360., drill £200. and insurence excess £250.   Bugger.

I hope you're satisfied you little sod , if you were mine i'd have tanned your arse years ago !

This has been Sandra Pagan with a highly cathartic blog.